“I like having just the one key. It’s clean.” – Graham Dalton, character from “Sex, Lies, and Videotape”
What happened to us?
It wasn’t long ago that the small things in life — shopping, parking, watching TV, ordering a birthday cake — were simpler and easier. You know? Small!
Now there not.
Now doing them requires opening so many technological locks — internet access, smartphones, apps, credit cards, account names and passwords — that if one of them doesn’t work then your day can be shot trying to unlock them or get new keys.
It’s annoying and disappointing and exhausting and, sometimes, unnerving.
And guess what? It’s messing with everything, even buying tacos.
Tacos?! Yes TACOS!! The ultimate simple, street food.
Try it out! Try walking around your neighborhood with nothing but cash. When you get hungry, go over to the hip new taqueria. You know…the one you read about a few months ago with the “birria” style tacos accompanied by an au jus dipping sauce and owned by the wise, serene, distinguishingly grey-haired abuela from Puebla with an interesting back story.
It’s probably a one-story shop on a busy street in a go-to, nightlifey neighborhood. Across the sidewalk is a tent-covered, parking-space that’s been converted into a dining patio and decorated in cool, Mexican-style, street art.
As you approach you may notice a life size menu hangs in the front window. To your right is a glass door but all signs point to a “Take-out” window on your left.
You knock.
A young person slides open the bottom pane, looks at you with a welcoming smile, and energetically says, “Name?”
Caught off guard, you pause and say, “Ummm…IIII…jjuuust…wwwaaaant...to order some tacos.”
“Did you order them online?”
“I’m sorry…what?”
“Did you order them online?”
“Ahhh…no. I thought. I could. Juuussstt….paaay…For them…here???” your voice tails off as your eyes dart around and spot the “Online orders only” signs. “I don’t have a phone or anything. I just have cash and some credit cards.”
“I’m sorry. You have to order online.”
“Ahhh huuh…,” Awkward pause…“So let me get this straight. You don’t take any cash?”
“That’s right.”
Deep breath.
“So, you have a willing customer standing in front of you and you DON’T want to take my money?”
“That’s right. Sorry.” The person smiles and closes the window.
It’s stunning. In that moment, you realize that to buy tacos at this place, one must: 1) have a sufficient smartphone to make the order; 2) speedy enough internet access to send the order; and 3) a credible credit card to buy the tacos.
In other words, the act of buying tacos rests not on one layer of complexity — cash — but three. Moreover, each layer must be aligned. If one of them doesn’t work or they’re not in sync than “No tacos for you!” It’s a bit absurd don’tcha think?
Is this a big deal? Is it something we should really care about? At first glance, no. You could just try somewhere else or go home.
But consider this: This is NOT a one-off. Every day, as technology infects the mundane parts of life, it feels like these Kafkaesque moments are piling up and dealing with them — especially the frustration, the disappointment, and the distraction — becomes ever more mind numbing.
This can’t be good. Psychologically we’re probably not built to live in a death-by-a-thousand-glitches world, especially if one struggles to or can’t afford the supporting layers. Moreover, who’s profiting from all this??
So, yes, we should be concerned. It’s the healthy thing to do.
Is there a solution? Who knows? It’s all so overwhelming. Maybe just talking about it is a giant first step?
And maybe that first step is to consider the wisdom of the “one key thing”?
What’s the “one key thing” you ask?
It’s from a scene in the movie “Sex, Lies, and Videotape.”
If you haven’t seen it, then check it out here (see link).
Briefly, Graham Dalton, played by James Spader, has dinner with an old college buddy, John Mullany, and his wife Ann Bishop Mullany. John is played by Peter Gallagher and Ann Bishop by Andie MacDowell. The scene takes place early in the movie and in the Mullany’s dining room with the camera panning and cross cutting around the table capturing an awkward end-of-meal conversation.
Graham, a drifter — a hardcore, full-assed slacker — has just arrived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana where John and Ann Bishop live. John has invited Graham to stay at his house while Graham looks for a new home.
At one point during the scene (~ 2:30), John and Ann start arguing over Graham’s apartment hunting options. Ann recommends a “lovely place” Graham found in the Garden District, which John dismisses over safety. Graham mumbly interrupts and rejects this idea, citing his preference for the one-key thing.
“No, it’s just, I you know. I just right now, I have one key you know and everything I own is in the car and I just…I like that you know. I mean I just, if I get an apartment that’s two keys. If I get a job, you know I might have to open or close with some more keys. You know buy some stuff I’m get afraid it’s going to get ripped off or something and I get more keys and I just…I you know just like having the one key. It’s clean.”
There it is. One key, one lock, one layer. Simple. Easy. And, hopefully, healthy…at least healthier than having to buy tacos online.
Now does this mean all of Graham’s ideas should be considered? No, DEFINITELY NOT. As one learns later, Graham has some odd — to say the least! — videotaping habits.
Just stick with the “one key thing.”
And maybe, just maybe this is a sign — a sign of the times. A sign that things have gotten so bizarre, and so out of whack, that only the most extreme weird, misfit slackers can offer pearls of wisdom for dealing with these daily tech-driven absurdities.
Maybe…
Hope you enjoy!
- The Middle-Aged Slacker